Ever wake up thinking, “I don’t want to adult today!”?
Ever spend time to justify to yourself or someone else why you did X, Y or Z versus not what you know you were supposed to do?
Ever think back to how carefree and easy being a kid was?
So you might ask, why is it so hard being an adult? Well, to state the obvious, it isn’t one bit bloody easy, and it’s hardly getting easier as we get older. Then add chronic back pain into the equation…
The world we live in adds to that complexity with diversions, distractions, entertainments, mobile devices, gaming platforms/games, internet, speed of life, governmental regulation, dealing with bureaucracies and stupidities, and the ever-increasing demands of our lives to somehow fit in the same 24 hours a day, 168 hours a week, just like everyone else. Who has the time for anything more?
And I totally get this! There is a reason I’m up at 4:00 am and in bed by 7:30 pm. Life has me running! But in moments of stillness, yes it does happen, I’m left asking myself, “Are you living the best life possible for you? If not, why not?”
What I find for myself, and many of my clients is the excuses, “I just don’t have time because…” Or “I can’t do other self-care and back-health-related activities because someone else needs me more.” How about the statement, “I would do that, but…”?
It wasn’t until someone actually called me out on those excuses that I began to see the lack of logic behind them. Is it that I truly don’t have any time in the current 24-hour period to find 15 minutes to stretch, or steal 20 minutes from my TV for an Epsom bath? Really??? And how much TV do I watch daily? Hmmm…. I guess I have some explaining to do – to myself.
So why is it we, as humans, inevitably find it sooo much easier to do for others, but not ourselves?
Joel Friedman wrote, “It is proposed that self-responsibility [and] self-accountability is the quintessential defining attribute[s] to qualify as an adult. Self-responsibility can be seen in taking care of doing what you said, promised and signed up to do, without any if’s, but’s, blaming others, rationalizations, reasons, or sniveling excuses for not doing what there is to do, as long as there’s some way within the parameters of reality to honorably do it. Anyone who is self-accountable answers fundamentally to him- or herself in honoring a code of living, ethics and integrity that goes to the depth of who every one of us actually is…”
So if being an adult means doing what we say we will do AND be fundamentally accountable to ourselves, then why do so many gym memberships not get used? Why do we purchase good shoes for walking, but fail to go for a stroll?
The reality is our individual health is our individual responsibility, yet so often we allow personal accountability to be less important than our accountability to others. We are more willing to cut ourselves slack or put our health and wellness on the back burner.
Many of us have limited our horizons and beliefs that keep us from reaching our full potential. Don’t believe me? Ask yourself this… What have you decided is impossible in your life? How resigned are you to just putting up with chronic pain in your life as you know it?
These limitations hold us back from believing and knowing that we, as individual women, deserve the same amount of care, support, and health that we give to others.
Interestingly enough, I have spoken to many ladies who simply can’t justify spending money on their health, but would spend the same amount on a struggling family member. Why is that? What makes her struggling family member more deserving than her?
It is only when we make the conscious decision to put ourselves first that we are able to truly help others.
In order to make the changes for better back-health and less pain in our lives, we must believe that many things are possible for us.
Believe that you can change your job, your mood, your relationship with your back and the pain, your health…your stress levels. Begin by allowing yourself to believe that what you want is possible, reachable and that you deserve it.
Once you start realizing that YOU ARE WORTH IT, then you can seek out those who can give guidance and support towards your journey of a happier and healthier life.
And if you find those walking shoes have a layer of dust on them, brush them off and find a way to help yourself be accountable. If that means having someone to help hold you accountable, then be willing to use every support available to keep you moving forward.
If you are like me, I know that unless I have some skin in the game of my health, then I am more apt to allow life to be first instead of myself. For me, my skin in the game of physical exercise is having a coach. He helps keep me self-responsible and accountable. I’m less likely to waste my money by not going to the gym, because I don’t want to admit to myself or him that I’m not important and/or my back-health just doesn’t matter that much.
Ultimately, you need to figure out what will be your “skin in the game” of your health to keep you moving forward!